Mallory Interrupted
by Red Witch
Summary: A minor scene in the marriage of Mallory and Ron. Which is looking more like a Tennessee Williams play on acid every day.


**Ron and Mallory threw out the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Archer characters. Just a little something that ran through my tiny little brain. Takes place right after the events of Krieger's Night Out.**

 **Mallory Interrupted **

"Thank you once again Mallory, for another **wonderful evening**!" Ron snapped as he opened the door to their house.

"Why are you angry at me?" Mallory snapped. "This wasn't my fault!"

"Yes it **was!"** Ron snapped. "You had to bring that crazy Kreiger with us tonight didn't you?"

"We've been over this," Mallory gave him a look. "It was part of the contract. I didn't tell him to bring that stupid rat into the restaurant with us!"

"Why? Are you mad because you didn't think of it yourself?" Ron quipped as he threw his keys on the counter.

"Everybody knows you don't use the rat gimmick to destroy a restaurant until **after** you've eaten its food!" Mallory snapped as she slammed the front door behind her. "Or if it's run by your rival. And certainly not within the first month it opens! Second or third yes but…"

"You're just damn lucky I dragged you **both** out of there and out the back before the cops showed up!" Ron snapped.

"You could have left Krieger and the rat behind," Mallory gave him a look.

"I almost left **you** behind!" Ron gave her a look. "Just once, just once I'd like to go out without you and your idiot agents ruining everything!"

"You're not the only one!" Mallory snapped.

"Explain something to me," Ron looked at her. "Why the hell do you hang around these nutcases? Why don't you just walk away once and for all?"

"Ron…" Mallory sighed.

"I'm serious, Mallory," Ron said. "Why not get out while the getting is good? Forget about this whole crazy PI stuff and the spy stuff and retire? For real! I have a few bucks in the bank. We can retire and live off that. Enjoy our lives for a change. We can even go back to New York if you want."

"And have Trudy Beekman lord it over me that I'm persona non grata in high society?" Mallory stiffened. "No thank you."

"Well then we can go to some **other city,"** Ron said. "I hear San Francisco is nice. Or Florida. Didn't you used to have a condo there?"

"A long time ago," Mallory admitted. "Before I had to sell it."

"Yeah and I had to sell what was left of my car for scrap metal when your son was through with it!" Ron snapped. "I mean lucky I knew a guy and I got a floor model to replace it but still…"

"How many times do I have to apologize for **that?** " Mallory groaned.

Ron went over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "My point is Doll, you don't have to do this kind of thing anymore. I can take care of us."

"Mallory Archer does not **need** a man to take care of her," Mallory pulled away angrily. "I never have and I never will."

"Forgive me, **sweetheart** ," Ron said that last word with ice. "But from what I understand your entire **career** …for lack of a better word…Has been going from one guy to the next in order to get favors, money, information or anything else you wanted."

"But I was using them!" Mallory protested. "There's a difference!"

"Yeah, you weren't married to them!" Ron snapped.

"Is this about your fragile male ego?" Mallory sneered.

"More like my fragile male heart, stomach…" Ron counted off. "And all my other organs. And you're one to talk about ego. Don't think I don't know what this whole PI nonsense is really all about."

"Yes this new thing called money," Mallory gave him a look.

"It's more than that and you know it," Ron pointed out. "It's about your pride. You got kicked to the curb and you can't deal with it. Well guess what Mallory? It happened!"

"Don't you think I **know that**?" Mallory shouted back.

"Do you know what you put me through when you go off on your cockamamie missions?" Ron shouted. "And I'm not just talking about when I got shot by the Yakuza!"

"Ron…" Mallory began.

"Do you have any idea how **worried** I get about you?" Ron interrupted. "Do you? Sometimes you disappear for days and I have no idea if you're kidnapped or on one of your god damn stupid missions! Other times you walk in the door with a bruises and that broken arm things after being held hostage…Do you have any idea how that makes me **feel?** And how many times I had to stop you from being arrested alone…"

"Ron I didn't…." Mallory was stunned.

"Do you know **why** I came with you to LA?" Ron asked. "Why I decided to give our marriage another chance? Even though there is mounting evidence that this marriage was doomed from the start? It's because no matter how crazy your son and his friends act. No matter how nuts you act. I love you. I love you babe."

Ron went on. "And even though life is crazy as hell, life would be even worse without you! You make my life interesting. A little too interesting sometimes, but interesting. Honestly I could do with some boredom every now and then."

"But I don't want to do it without you," Ron looked her in the eyes. To his surprise Mallory was genuinely touched.

"Ron I…" Mallory let out a breath. "You really do love me don't you?"

"As the kids say today," Ron remarked. "Duh!"

Mallory took a deep breath. "Look, I know you think I'm crazy for doing this at my age. But this life…It's all I've ever really known. I wasn't an actress for very long before I got recruited. I was so young and impressionable…But I was good at my job. I was the best at what I did back then. Even though a lot of my bosses and male counterparts didn't think so."

"Do you have any idea how hard it was for me?" Mallory sighed. "Being a good spy and still getting passed over time after time for promotions? Lana complains about favoritism and sexism but compared to the old days she's living in freaking Shangri-La."

Ron said nothing. Mallory went on. "I realized that I was killing myself both literally and figuratively for the respect and power I would never get within the system. So I changed the rules. So my agency was slightly illegal? You really think they would have given a woman **legal rights** for a spy agency? No matter how qualified she is? Give me a break."

"So you broke the rules," Ron said.

"Damn right I did!" Mallory snapped. "And I did it on my own! It wasn't easy but I became a spymaster despite what everyone said or did to try and keep me down! That's why I can't give up! If I did…It would be like I'd prove them right."

Mallory closed her eyes. "It's one thing to walk away when you're on top, but when nobody wants or believes in you…I can't. I may be a lot of things but a quitter…Not one of them."

"I can understand that believe it or not," Ron said. "And I know that sometimes in order to get ahead you have to bend the rules a little."

"Like what?" Mallory groaned. "Pay a bribe or something?"

"Or something," Ron remembered his past as a car thief and a chop shop owner. A past Mallory was not fully aware of. And he wanted to keep it that way.

"You know there was a time when my agency **wasn't** the freak show it is now," Mallory gave him a look. "I actually had **competent** agents. I wonder what happened…?"

"Oh wait," Mallory said. "Now I remember. The day I let my idiot son into my agency. Maybe I should have let Sterling be a lacrosse player? Looking back on it now, it couldn't have cost me as much as it did when he was a spy."

"Sterling wasn't that bad," Ron told her. "When he wasn't dicking around and drunk on the hooch."

"When does Sterling ever **not** dick around?" Mallory asked. "Or not drunk off his ass? Still…He did have his good days. Almost as good as I was sometimes. That's why I gave him the best assignments. Mostly because I knew how good he could be when he put his mind to it. Not to mention that I was the only person who ever truly believed in him."

"Really?"

"Well that and I distrusted him less than the rest of the idiots that worked for me," Mallory admitted. "And sometimes he was cheaper."

"How so?"

"Let's just say Sterling's money management skills are abysmal and he didn't get paid as much sometimes as he thought he did," Mallory coughed.

" **There** it is," Ron groaned.

"Is it my fault the idiot looks at his bank statement only once every couple of years?" Mallory barked. "Which is a moot point considering how much I had to pay to get him out of jams all these years."

"Look," Ron put his arms around Mallory. "I get where you're coming from. I know what it's like to build a business and a life from nothing."

"Well I wouldn't say nothing exactly," Mallory waved. "I mean I did come from a very wealthy prestigious family."

"Good for you," Ron frowned. "I'm trying to have a moment here. Can you **not** ruin it?"

"Fine," Mallory rolled her eyes.

"You know I'm with you right? I just have a bad feeling about this detective thing that's all," Ron said. "I feel like if you keep going like this sooner or later something really bad is going to happen. Something I can't get you out of."

"You don't have to get me out of anything," Mallory said as she hugged him. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"I know you are," Ron hugged back. "But I'm still your husband. I have to worry about you. Comes with the package."

"Not really used to…" Mallory admitted as she pulled away.

"I know," Ron said. "But you're not alone now. I'm in your corner. I've always been in your corner."

"I'm not really used to…" Mallory sighed. "I've been on my own so long…"

"That's what marriage is," Ron said. "A little give, a little take. Honestly you've been taking a lot lately but…It means you got someone to go through stuff with."

"You're right," Mallory said. "I can't let this get me down! So I've been kicked to the curb? It doesn't matter."

"Of course it doesn't," Ron told her. "All that spy junk and high society crap never mattered to me."

"What matters now is how I get back to the top!" Mallory's eyes had a gleam in them. "I can remake my agency to be better than ever!"

"That's not exactly what I meant…" Ron began.

"So I've had a few setbacks?" Mallory asked turning away from Ron. "I can rebuild! Remake my agency so it's better than ever."

"O-kay…" Ron sighed. "Here we go…"

"And once it is better I'll finally be able to cut some of the **dead wood** that's been plaguing me," Mallory growled. "This is all their fault anyway! All **their fault!"**

"Again…Starting to wonder if this marriage really is worth saving here," Ron groaned as he walked away.


End file.
